No Turkey This Year? Here's what to eat instead.
Thanksgiving 2020 probably looks like most of this year has - a giant unpredictable dumpster fire. Add to the mix a turkey shortage as well as some people planning on carving up their Thanksgiving lobster and you've got a grab bag feast fit for Guy Fieri.
Which got us thinking: what else can we eat for Thanksgiving this year? Here are your Top Alternative Thanksgiving Entree Ideas for a COVIDtastic Feast.
1) Squirrel
By far, this is your least expensive option because squirrel is everywhere. Need a recipe idea? Here are 40. Pick any of them; no one will care because they'll be stunned you actually cooked a squirrel. From your yard.
Try pairing the fried squirrel with our Honest Biscuit Mix.
2) Camel
Camel meat? Where does that even come from? The hump(s)? Don't worry about it. Just know that a pair of camel filets will only set you back $50.
Pair your petit camel filets with JM Thomason's Bourbon BBQ Seasoning.
3) Shark
Riding the popularity high of media vehicles like Shark Week and Sharknado, these sneaky killers will be taking it easy in November when wham! Out of nowhere they're on your dining room table. And thank us later when your wife finds you suddenly irresistible.
Our wine jellies can add some zest to your shark entree.
4) Armadillo
They look tough with those shells but none have yet stood up to your Goodyear all-weather radials. While we don't advise you pick up what someone left behind, what you do with your kids on the weekend is your business, Cousin Eddie.
Combine a "Possum on the Half Shell" with a soothing whiskey sour, courtesy of White's Elixirs.
5) Bison
Channel your inner Ted Turner and carve up a juicy loaf of bison. In all honesty, probably way more like the first Thanksgiving than a bucket o' turkey.
While noshing on free range bison, nosh on these juicy pickles from Southern Delights by Oakley.
6) Pumpkin
You can basically get these anywhere, like your neighbor's porch, who left them to rot while they went to the beach for three weeks in November. The hot trend is to stuff them like they were a turkey. Downside: it's a damn pumpkin. Upside: no bag o' innards to deal with.
We suggest stuffing your pumpkin with everything in this gift set.
7) Waffle
We needed a 7th idea so we just picked a breakfast food. You can make a giant waffle and put it on the table and watch everyone leave in disappointment (unless you're related to Leslie Knope).
Make this hot new Thanksgiving centerpiece with our Loveless Waffle Mix.
8) Soylent
Got some coders, gamers, or bros who love Joe Rogan in the family? We thought so. Go ahead and grab a a few cases of this at Target (along with lots of toilet paper).
Truthfully, anything will go well with Soylent because it's barely even food, so maybe a loaf of Soberdough or - why not - a Goo Goo?
9) Turtle
Ok, we're scraping the bottom of the barrel here, but that's only because turtle meat is very dense and gets stuck down there (sorry). Boneless turtle meat is available in 5 lb. bags (my god - who wants "bone-in" turtle meat?) and you can toss it in gumbo, chili, or the garbage.
Once your 5-year-old stops crying because you told her you're serving turtle at Thanksgiving, make sure you have plenty of Southern City Cornbread Mix so she can eat her feelings.
10) Wildebeest
It's about time we got revenge on these bastards for killing Mufasa. Some chefs prefer the rump (that's what she said) which is very tender and oh who cares - I can't keep this going. Just get a turkey.
It doesn't matter what you pair this with. If you actually want to serve up Serengeti Spaghetti then rest assured everything we sell is better than any of the 10 suggestions we came up with here in the feeble attempts people would click on a link from Facebook.